ON SLOWING DOWN

I want to slow down.

These days, my life has often begun to feel like a collection of quick, hollow flashes rather than dense, prolonged moments. This is, I assume, the result of a combination of the fast-paced characteristic of summer days, my daily habits and the things that life demands of me at the moment.

About a week ago, I announced that I would be taking a step back from art in order to reevaluate myself and my work, I wished to find the primary drive that I once had all those months ago in terms of why I created and who I created for. Things seem a little muddy these days. But that is not to blame the accumulation of commissions that I am most thankful and grateful for — I believe I just need to take care of myself better and to have a much clearer mindset on what I'm doing. And because my mind changes unbelievably fast, I took back my statements about stopping and closing shop momentarily to say that regardless of what I said in the past, I will still be continuing what I am currently doing. Only now, I hope to continue in a more thoughtful, more healthier way with an expansive focus on my health. That ultimately means days off — something I never afforded myself in the last year and a half that I had been doing this which led to me burning out and feeling extreme fatigue not only physically, but even more so mentally.

I want to slow down.

That is why in the past month, I have given a great amount of attention on my health and focused on the things that I wanted to do. These days, I remind myself to take breaks which comes in the form of playing video games like Harvest Moon or Fallout 4 or watching videos on YouTube with my girlfriend. We both recently bought film cameras because we want to get into film photography. Maybe film can teach me a thing or two about slowing down as well. In addition to that, I am planning to start vlogging soon. It's something that I often used to do a lot when I was younger before I got distracted with growing up amongst other things. I want to write more as well, something I also used to do plenty of before. Life is short, There's a world of things that I want to pursue and that's exactly what I'm planning to do. While I am still continuing art, I am also going to be paying attention to the things that I wish to do for fun. It seems like a good path to stay on. 

P.S. If you're tired of constant disappointment with the new air of movies as of late, then go watch Mamma Mia 2. You'll enjoy yourself, I promise. (I mean, who doesn't love ABBA?)